So it's been a month... (COLLEGE)

I'm seriously shocked. It has been exactly a month today since I moved into college. It hasn't been easy. I've seriously gone home twice already and my dad and brothers came down for family day. I have had two weekends here and one of them was like an orientation weekend. Next weekend will be no different, I'll be in Pittsburgh with one of my cousins planning our Clemson, SC trip.

Clemson University football game

I love my roommates, they're honestly super great and I guess we're currently at the start of a scare war. We watch movies every single night and basically do everything except go to class together. Tip: when you start college do NOT stay in the suites. The suites are nice, but it's a lot harder to make friends so I just really don't recommend doing it.

I honestly love going home (the laundry is free) because I get to see my friends and my dad and brothers and grandma. My little brother, Jack, is going to be nine months on Wednesday and I feel like I'm missing out on his life and I really am struggling with that. I now call him "Bug" because his eyes get soooo wide when he sees me for the first time.

Jackson, 9 months

So, I'm planning on applying to Mercyhurst University over Thanksgiving break and hopefully transferring for the spring semester. I have been in tears since before my dad dropped me off back at school last night because I was dreading my return. Because I do have a history of depression/anxiety/self mutilation I have decided that it is the best decision. I have a ton of friends at Mercyhurst and I graduated from Mercyhurst Preparatory School so basically I am a Laker through and through (whatever that is), I really don't have an ounce of Golden Eagle in me.

Mercyhurst University - Old Main

I grew up camping in the Clarion area (we have a cabin in Cook Forest), but I'm really not meant to live in small towns. I was supposed to go to New York City for school this year (LIM College), but money made it impossible. I was praying that I wouldn't get into Clarion just so I wouldn't have to go. I've been dreading Clarion before I even applied (early May, not even kidding). Ultimately what I'm saying is that you need to LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU. My dad is a Clarion alum and so I considered Clarion just for his benefit. I'm not cut out for small towns and now I'm trying to go home for college.


FUN FACT: I almost hit a bear on my way back to school last night. Three black bears (a momma bear and her two cubs) were crossing the road, luckily I was alert and have good reflexes.